


Enduring

by Aloneindarknes7



Category: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dark, Alternate Universe - Slavery, Angst, Breastfeeding, Character Death, Lactation Kink, M/M, Mpreg, Non Consensual, Not Canon Compliant, Sexual Slavery, Suicide, Unrequited Love, not happy ending, slave - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-07
Updated: 2013-04-07
Packaged: 2017-12-07 19:46:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/752343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aloneindarknes7/pseuds/Aloneindarknes7
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thorin uses Bilbo as a means to produce more children for his people.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Let’s go with this being an AU where Smaug attacked but they were able to hold him off. But all the lives they would have lost in the battle of Moria were lost defeating Smaug. So Thorin is the last of the Durin men alive besides Fili and Kili from Dis. Thorin is worried about the low population, lack of new children, and the number of broken families the dragon has caused his people and after so many years, finally figures out some sort of solution to help repopulate the dwarven society and also secure his line more. 
> 
> I'm so very sorry that this is the first fic I've decided to write for this fandom. Hopefully my other ones will be happier because this one is not.

Everyone knew hobbits were simple creatures as this was the general rule about hobbits. They had little to worry about in their lives while living in their cozy Shire far away from the trouble of the rest of the world. That was why Bilbo Baggins was trying to put his paranoia out of his mind with a relaxing, long walk in the crisp, morning air. It wasn’t doing him any good to worry so a walk had been just the thing to clear his mind.

The dirt road felt soft under his feet as he headed towards the fields where the Brandybucks grew their tall corn stalks. Lately, he had been having the strangest feelings of being watched. He would have waved off the tingling goose bumps on the back of his neck by not yet being used to living all alone at Bag End, his poor mother having only passed a month and a half ago, but the feeling had remained even when he shopped in the marketplace or was out chatting with his neighbors. 

Those sensations currently hadn’t been bothering him as he had walked farther away from the more heavily populated area of the Shire. Everything was peaceful once more in the little hobbit’s world.

Until he came upon the most peculiar looking dwarf leaning against the fencepost on the side of the road.

Bilbo was a little biased though because he had never seen a dwarf before so any dwarf would look peculiar to him. He could tell from his readings though that it was definitely a dwarf on the road before him. The heavy coat, metal buckles, thick boots, and elegant braids were sure signs of that. He wasn’t sure if it was a dwarf custom to shape their hair like a star though.

“Good morning,” Bilbo greeted politely as he walked past the dwarf.

“Morning, Bilbo Baggins.” The dwarf’s words stopped him in his tracks.

“Excuse me?” Bilbo turned around and looked at the dwarf.

“That is who you are, correct? Bilbo Baggins, the only little hobbit living on his own.” The dwarf was holding a small coin in his hand and slowly passing it through his fingers with an elegant movement of shifting his knuckles.

“Yes,” Bilbo slowly agreed, looking away from the coin to look the dwarf in the eye. “Have we met before? I can’t quite recall your name if that is the case.”

The dwarf chuckled. “It doesn’t matter much but you may know me as Nori, Spymaster of Thorin, King Under the Mountain.”

"Spymaster?” Bilbo had never heard of such a title before.

“It just means I am in charge of doing the king’s dirty work for him.” Nori grinned widely and Bilbo felt unsettled by that smile. “Sorry to say, Mister Baggins, but you’re currently involved in my dirty work for the majesty.” Bilbo swallowed nervously as he took a hesitant step backwards, away from Nori, only to suddenly realize there were four more dwarrows surrounding him and moving closer to him.

Nori’s coin had been put away in favor of a coil of rope. “I’d appreciate it if you don’t try and fight me; it’s a long trip back to Erebor and it’ll be smoother without you putting up a fuss.”

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

His head was spinning, his ears were ringing, and he was almost certain that he was going to be sick onto the floor. Bilbo had been brought before the King Under the Mountain as though he was nothing more than a prize. The king had asked his spymaster to explain himself, as though Bilbo wasn’t able to talk for himself, and as though he was displeased with Bilbo being there, which made two of them.

“He’s exactly what you asked for, Thorin. He’s the only hobbit that lived alone; he won’t be missed.” Nori had stated confidently. “His mother was freshly dead so his sudden disappearance can be written off by grief from his neighbors and there will be none the wiser.”

“The point of this task,” the tall, broad king had stepped down from his stone throne and towered over Bilbo. “Is that I require the well-known fertility that hobbits possess. We need to repopulate the Durin line, even if they are half-breeds, and hope that this new line carries with it such fertility to continue on throughout the years of the dwarrows. A male hobbit cannot give birth to my line.”

“Ah but that is where you are wrong, Thorin.” Nori had smirked and wrapped an arm around Bilbo’s shoulders as though they were friends and Bilbo wasn’t currently trembling with bound hands. “My dearest brother, Ori, before I had left had researched hobbits and informed me that both genders of hobbits are capable of giving birth.”

The King had then looked at Bilbo and terror had run throughout Bilbo as he realized why he had been taken so far from his home. “Now wait a minute,” Bilbo’s Tookish nature wouldn’t allow him to stay quiet despite his fear. “You can’t just snatch me from my homeland and expect me to be happy with you and birth you children. This isn’t how marriages work in the Shire.” His voice had started off loud and slowly turned softer as Thorin’s eyes had drilled into him.

“I have no plans of marrying you, hobbit.” The king had snapped. “And I care not for your happiness here. You are a slave now and you will serve my purposes. I require children and you will produce them.” He looked then to Nori. “I have had a room set up already; Bifur will show you where and assign a guard to him.” With that, Thorin had dismissed them and Bilbo had been dragged away, his protests ignored and tossed into a room.

The actual room was nice enough. There was a bed that looked soft, a warm fire already burning, a writing desk, and a small separate room with a wash basket and the sorts for his bodily needs. It had everything Bilbo might need without cause to ever leave. He knew it was meant to be his cage.

When the terror finally calmed enough that he felt he wouldn’t hurl the meager food he had been given during the last few hours of his forced travel, he turned then to be fueled by his anger. No one was going to throw a Baggins into a cage and dismiss him so easily. He turned the door handle, intent on storming back up into the throne room, only to be halted by the fact that the door wouldn’t bulge. It was locked from the outside; the room really was to be his cage.

“Let me out!” Bilbo yelled and pounded his fists against the unyielding door. “You cannot do this to me. This isn’t right! Please, let me out. I want to go home. I don’t belong here.” His yells turned into desperate pleas and shrieks until finally his anger left him, turning only into thick, miserable tears that ran down his face as he curled up in front of the door.

It was a few hours later, when he had finally moved onto the bed to curl up there instead, that the door opened. A dwarf he had not yet seen before poked his head into the doors and offered him a wide smile. It might have been the kind gesture, the silly looking hat on the dwarf’s head, or the plate of food the dwarf held in his hands, but Bilbo found himself sitting up on the bed and offering a small smile in return. 

“Bofur,” the dwarf bowed his head in greeting, “at yer service.”

“Bilbo Baggins,” he tilted his head forward as well and took the plate from the dwarf when offered. It looked much more appealing than what he had been given during his trip.

“It’s nice to meet ya, Mister Baggins. I’m goin’ to be yer personal guard on most days. My cousin, Bifur, assigned me the position, on accounta my minin’ days are over due to my shoulder injury of old.” Bofur rubbed at one shoulder. “I’ll be the one to bring ya food in, fetch whatever ya might care for, and be with ya while ya walk around.”

“I’ll be allowed to take walks?” Bilbo asked, stilling for a moment the constant shoveling of food into his mouth in order to chew, swallow, and ask.

“I don’t see why not.” Bofur nodded as he plopped down on the bed beside Bilbo. “As long as I have ya back here before King Thorin has use of ya in the night hours, then it should be fine. Otherwise if ya wanna have a chat or want me to fetch ya a book from the library, I’m sure that should be fine too. Ori might only let ya have the book fer a day or two though.” 

“I’ll be allowed to have such liberties though? The way your king made it out to be, I was to be a slave. Slaves aren’t meant to have such specialties from what I have read.” Bilbo inquired. “Not that I’m suggesting a change.”

Bofur chuckled. “Like I said, the king has little use of ya durin’ the day. But yer meant to be comfortable here.”

“He is right,” the two swiveled their heads to look at the doorway where Thorin was standing. “I wish for you to have whatever you may need in order to carry through your pregnancies in a healthy manner. Mild exercises will not harm the baby so you are allowed to walk with your guard if you see it fit.”

“Yer majesty,” Bofur bowed as he moved from the bed. Seeing as Bilbo was finished with the plate, Bofur took the empty dish and quickly left the room, closing the door behind him.

Thorin continued to stand by the doorway and stared at Bilbo. Bilbo looked back, taking in the jewelry and armor the king wore. If it was meant to impress Bilbo it was not doing a good job. “Are you here to try and woo your way into my pants since you have no intentions of marrying me like a proper being would?”

“I have no intentions to woo you.” Thorin stated.

Bilbo raised a brow as he crossed his arms over his chest. “You obviously don’t know much of hobbits. We only take to bed those we love or find mighty attractive. I’m not just going to allow you to impregnate me.”

“You have the option of fighting me if you want to try but it is a tussle I am confident I would win.” Thorin challenged and Bilbo felt the food in his stomach turn to stone at the insinuation.

“You,” he swallowed around the lump in his throat. “You mean to take me against my will, by force.” 

Thorin nodded slowly. “If I need to, then so be it. If you do not want me to be more forceful than necessary then I suggest lying back and complying with my wishes so it will be easier for both of us.”

Bilbo’s heart began to speed up as he looked around the room for a spot to hide or something he could use to defend himself only to discover that he was trapped. He was at a disadvantage against the larger, stronger dwarf even if he could manage to find a weapon. “I am quite confused by my situation. You give me a fine room, inform me I will be comfortable, and then tell me you intend to rape me.”

“You are to give birth to my children, I would not have you be uncomfortable while pregnant and while you are here I intend to have you be pregnant as often as possible. I may not know much about hobbits, but I do know that it is not uncommon for them to have as much as ten children.” Thorin eyed Bilbo. “I would not require that many but I had hoped that for the trip my men made to gather you, I would get at least five children out of you.”

“I am nothing more than a means of birthing children to you?” Bilbo asked. “My feelings have no matter to you on this?”

“Now you do understand your situation.” Thorin stated coldly. “Undress, or else I will strip you of your clothes. I hope to get two rounds into you tonight before I have my healer come look at you tomorrow to check you over and figure out how quickly you might become pregnant.”

Bilbo’s body began to tremble again as he eyed the king before him. Thorin removed his boots and his heavy coat as well as some of his jewelry, placing it all on the simple writing desk. He then unstrapped the large sword from his waist but continued to hold it as he watched Bilbo. “Do I need to strip you?” Thorin asked, still holding the sheathed sword.

Shaking his head, Bilbo brought his hands up and began to remove the dirty, smelly clothes he had been wearing since being snatched from the Shire. His hands shook as he unclasped his waist jacket and unbuttoned his shirt. It felt unreal as he methodically began to remove his clothes until he was in his last layer of undergarments. He jumped when a heavy hand landed on his shoulder, turning him around so that he was standing before the king.

Thorin’s naked body was intimidating with the amount of firm muscles, thick hair, and numerous scars Bilbo could see. He was glad he had not been foolish enough to try and fight the dwarf. The dwarf’s cock was thick and long as it hung between Thorin’s legs, unaroused by the sight of Bilbo’s mostly naked body.

“As I feared, there isn’t an ounce of hair on your body.” Thorin sounded put off as he looked at Bilbo with a scowl.

“I’m not forcing you to bed me. If you don’t find me attractive then there is no need for this to go any further.” Bilbo declared.

“It must be done,” Thorin argued and pulled off Bilbo’s last bit of clothes to bare him completely. Thorin’s hand on his shoulder directed Bilbo to the bed and the hobbit climbed dutifully onto it, lying on his back as instructed. He was trembling again but Thorin paid it no mind as he uncapped a small vial of oil and coated his fingers. “You have experience with this before?”

“Once,” Bilbo admitted after a moment. “A long time ago when I was a much younger lad, before there was any risk of pregnancy.”

Thorin nodded and slid a finger into Bilbo none too gently. Bilbo fisted his hands into the sheets and closed his eyes as Thorin prepared him meticulously. It wasn’t at all like he remembered from his youth but then again there were a lot more kisses back then and Bilbo was fine without Thorin kissing him. When three fingers were removed, Bilbo dared to open his stinging eyes. Thorin was fisting himself, his own eyes closed, as he tried to work himself into hardness. Bilbo bit his tongue on a sob as the first tears began to slip down his cheeks. There was to be no passion in this act for neither seemed to want or desire the actual deed. He had never heard of such a terrible mockery of what was meant to be an intimate, loving action.

His thoughts were interrupted when he felt Thorin pressed against his oiled hole and began pushing in. Bilbo yelped as Thorin breached him, ignoring his pained expression in favor of only stopping once as he was fully into him. “I will give you a moment to adjust.” Thorin offered and Bilbo panted as he fought through the uncomfortable fullness and slightly painful stretch he felt despite Thorin’s careful preparations. It had not been that bad when he had been bedded by another hobbit. He tried to bite back the gasping sobs that fought to be voiced as an attempt to control his breathing. 

Thorin apparently got tired of waiting and gripped his hips as he decided he had graced Bilbo with enough time to adjust. Thorin’s thrusts began at a slow enough speed but Bilbo’s body was tense and made the movements painful. Bilbo didn’t know if he should be grateful that Thorin had no intentions of trying to rouse him into a pleasurable state as well as Thorin made no attempt to acknowledge Bilbo’s flaccid cock. He sobbed openly but Thorin did not care as he merely kept his eyes closed and his hands on Bilbo’s hips as he focused on moving in and out of Bilbo’s unwilling body.

It seemingly went on for far longer than Bilbo thought it should have and he felt his stomach roll as Thorin came inside him. He didn’t want to grant the king his wish of children but he also didn’t want to endure such a violation of his body ever again. Thorin was still inside him even as Bilbo’s tears turned into body wracking sobs. 

“No more, please,” he moaned desperately in between sobs. Bilbo attempted to push at the larger being to get him to move away but Thorin remained seated inside him.

“I will make use of your body once more then leave you be until tomorrow.” Thorin reminded and Bilbo shook his head as he continued to try and shove the other away. Thorin took up Bilbo’s hands with a sigh and put a stop to his weak struggles. When Bilbo’s hands were pinned to the bed, then Thorin began to move again.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

He couldn’t see his toes anymore due to the large roundness of his stomach. Bilbo sighed as he settled his hands onto the swell of his pregnant belly. It had taken far too many attempts on Thorin’s end to finally impregnate Bilbo. Apparently the fertileness of hobbits only helped a little to aid the dwarf’s impotent seed. 

It had been five months since he was declared a slave to Thorin. In another month and some weeks, he would give birth, giving the king what he wished for. Thorin had proven his word though, as Bilbo had been granted every item he had asked for. He lived a very comfortable life even if it was not the life he had ever wanted. It would never be a fitting life for a hobbit.

A knock on the door indicated that Bofur was about to enter, as he was the only one to ever knock. Sure enough, Bofur’s head peeked in through the door. “Ready fer a walk? Or do ya not feel up to it now that ya’ve got a stomach the size of a watermelon?”

Bilbo snickered as he rubbed his tummy. “A walk tends to calm the little one down. I swear this child is going to come out of me dancing.”

Bofur chuckled. “Dwarrows like to dance as much as you hobbits do so it wouldn’t be too surprisin’ if the babe does get dancin’ genes from both races.” 

The two began their walk, taking the familiar routine that would lead them past the open balconies built into the mountain. Through the months of his captivity, Bilbo had found himself a friend in Bofur that he had never even had amongst any other hobbits. They talked about anything and everything; the differences in their cultures, Bilbo would talk about the books he was given to read, and Bofur would always have a tale or two about his family. Bilbo had worried that he would lose all happiness being used by a dwarven king to produce more heirs, but Bofur had managed to keep him smiling. Bofur was Bilbo’s only source of light in such a dark world that had become his life.

They stopped at the last, highest balcony in the mountain and Bilbo stared out over the city of Dale. There was always movement in the city far below but what drew Bilbo’s attention were the luscious green hills beyond the city.

Bilbo sighed. “Do you think, once I’ve given Thorin a child, he would allow me to have lunch on the hills some days? You would take me, of course, but I would love to once again feel the grass between my toes, or the wind on my face, and if there were flowers at the bottom of one of those hills, oh I’m sure they’d smell so lovely.” Bilbo’s hands went again to his stomach. “Perhaps I’d be allowed to show my child the joy of nature, even if the child may never know the Shire.”

Bofur placed a gentle hand on Bilbo’s shoulder. “I’m sure Thorin won’t mind us takin’ a nice picnic out there a few times between yer pregnancies.”

Bilbo smiled. “Oh!” He cupped his stomach. “The child’s moving again,” he groaned.

“Can I,” Bofur sheepishly looked away as his hand dropped from Bilbo’s shoulder. “Would ya mind if I have a feel?”

“Of course, maybe your hands can calm this restless child.” Bilbo grabbed Bofur’s hand, the one not holding the pickaxe that always accompanied the dwarf, and placed it on his rounded stomach, showing him where to feel.

Bofur smiled. “That’s amazin’, Bilbo. I had felt my brother kick in me Ma back when I was a young lad, but I’ve never had the chance since. Not many pregnancies have happened around me since that time. Ma had tried again after Bombur but she fell ill and died shortly after I came of age.”

“I’m sorry,” Bilbo expressed his sympathies. “My mother passed recently after my father was swept away from the current during the flood. My mother loved my father with all of her heart so when he died, her heart followed shortly after.”

Bofur nodded. “Us dwarrows only love once as well, if we find love at all.” A silence fell between them until movement under Bofur’s hand made him offer a small smile. “The babe is really makin’ a fuss now.”

“Yes,” Bilbo grunted. “Let’s head back, I’d like to rest a bit before dinner.” Bofur’s hand fell away from Bilbo and they continued their walk.

It was later that night, after Bofur had collected the empty plates of his dinner, when Bilbo’s door opened again. Bilbo looked up from his desk with a smile, expecting Bofur, only to freeze as icy dread spread through his veins. Bilbo had not seen Thorin since the first few weeks of his captivity. Once the pregnancy had been confirmed by Oin, the head healer, and then Thorin had not bothered visiting him again which had suited Bilbo just fine. 

“You look well.” Thorin chose as words of greeting. Bilbo nodded slowly as he rose from his desk, not wanting to be at more of a disadvantage while Thorin was in the room. 

“Bofur takes very good care of me. He treats me as a friend.” Bilbo would never forgive the way Thorin treated him during the start of his new life. Thorin had never made any illusion towards Bilbo being any more than a means of children, had never taken his feelings or pleasure into consideration, and never said anything after using his body as he left.

"Bifur had assured me that his cousin was a good guard, I am glad to be reassured.” Thorin strode forward and laid his hands on Bilbo’s stomach. “I would hate to endanger you when you are close.”

Bilbo tried to back away from Thorin’s touch but Thorin followed him, crowding him back against the desk until he could move no more. “What do you want?” Bilbo closed his eyes as he clenched his hands at his sides to hide the trembling that had started in his fingers.

“Oin has informed me that you were amongst the last weeks of your term, that the child was moving, and you would begin lactating.” Thorin’s hands moved up to Bilbo’s top button and began to undo them to open up the large shirt. Bilbo began to shiver as he was bared to Thorin and exposed to the king’s large hands. Thorin seemed to fall into a trance as he moved his hands over Bilbo’s swelled stomach, touching the expanded skin as though memorizing the change. His hands slowly rose up to cup Bilbo’s heavy pecs.

Bilbo’s face heated. The most embarrassing change in his body had been that his chest had become plump and soft like women’s breasts. He knew that males were capable of breastfeeding as females did, especially when pregnant, but he had never given it much thought before.

Thorin’s thumb circled over his left nipple, pressing roughly against the skin and making Bilbo groan. “Are you sensitive?”

No,” Bilbo whispered. “I’m sore. My body is not used to being this shape.”

“Though you still have no hair, you look more like a woman now.” Thorin murmured. Bilbo’s eyes widened at the tone and he panicked as Thorin’s face drew closer to his own. During all their unpleasant couplings, Thorin had never shown him such intimacy as a kiss and Bilbo had rather hoped that he could keep kissing as a pleasant experience in his memory.

A knock on the door led to an interruption as Bofur’s laugh filled the tense silence of the room. “Even though yer larger than ever and still only half the size of me brother, I figured ya wouldn’t mind another bite of food. I managed to,” Bofur fell quiet as he took in the sight of Thorin pressing an exposed Bilbo against a desk. “Yer majesty,” Bofur quickly bowed as he balanced a plate of sweet bread.

“Guard the door,” Thorin ordered and Bofur was quick to comply, leaving the room so that Bilbo and Thorin were alone again. The mood had been broken though as Thorin took a step away from Bilbo and the hobbit was slightly grateful. “Remove your shirt and make yourself comfortable against the headboard.” Thorin ordered as he began to remove his boots.

Bilbo was quick to move away from Thorin and towards his bed only to hesitate at removing the small protection of his shirt. Shaking, Bilbo did as he was told and placed a pillow behind his back as he laid against the headboard. Thorin had only removed some of his heavy jewelry, weapons, and boots before he climbed onto the bed. He returned his hands to Bilbo’s stomach as he knelt over the hobbit, bringing his head close to Bilbo’s skin.

“What are you doing?” Bilbo asked, finally managing to find his voice.

“It is a dwarven tradition for the father to breast feed before the child is born. It brings about good childbirth and shows how well the mother will be at nursing the child to strength.” Thorin explained.

“I am not a mother. In the Shire I would be called the birthing parent.” Bilbo informed.

Thorin glanced up at Bilbo from the awkward angle. “You will stroke my hair and sing to me while I drink.”

“What am I supposed to sing?” Bilbo asked, having learned that his words would be ignored if they didn’t suit Thorin’s needs.

“Any lullaby you know will suffice.” Thorin lifted one hand off of Bilbo’s stomach to squeeze his left, plump pec. He lowered his mouth to cover Bilbo’s nipple and began to harshly suck as he squeezed harder. Bilbo grimaced in pain and bit back his groans, until Thorin bit at him.

“Stop, you’re hurting me.” Bilbo protested, trying to push Thorin’s head away by pulling at his hair.

Thorin moved away to glare at Bilbo. “I must start the lactating process somehow. You should start singing.” He lowered his head again. “And stroke my hair; if you tug at it again I will have one of your fingers removed.” He began to suck again.

Bilbo’s body began to shake in fear of the threat and disgust at such a violation of his person as Thorin was able to start drinking from his tit. Breastfeeding was meant to be a bonding experience between birthing parents and children, not some perverse superstition for a dwarf. 

Not wanting to know the consequences of disobeying Thorin though, he began to ease his fingers through Thorin’s long hair. He didn’t touch the few braids in favor of using his fingers as combs on the surprisingly soft hair. Closing his eyes, Bilbo thought of the songs his mother would hum as she busied herself in the kitchen, and he began to sing of green hills and gentle valleys.

Halfway through his second song, Thorin lifted his mouth and licked his lips with a soft smile. Bilbo instantly went silent and stared. “The child is moving,” Thorin stated as he stared in awe at his hands on Bilbo’s tummy. The child seemed to have heard Thorin’s words and moved a little harder before settling again. Thorin lowered his head once more and pressed a soft kiss to the rounded area. “You will be strong and healthy, my child.” Thorin whispered.

When he raised his head again, the smile was gone and Thorin’s eyes were icy towards Bilbo as usual. He moved off of the bed and began to redress. Bilbo grabbed his own shirt but hesitated in re-buttoning it as a bit of milk had dribbled down him before he had stopped.

“Oin will begin to check on you daily, in a few weeks when your due date is closer.” Thorin informed before he left.

Bilbo went to the small side room and dipped a cloth into the bin of cold water provided. He rubbed the cloth over his entire torso, trying to feel clean again after being used in such a way. As he began to close his shirt up again, Bofur knocked at the door.

“I don’t suppose yer interested in eatin’?” Bofur asked, still holding the plate of sweet bread.

“I’m afraid I wouldn’t be able to keep it down.” Bilbo shook his head.

Bofur nodded in understanding. “Thorin told me to keep yer door locked when I wasn’t in here with ya, so if ya need anythin’ yer gonna have to knock first before I can unlock the door fer ya.”

“It’s not like I could escape. The only pathway I’m familiar with is our walking route.” Bilbo sighed and sat on the edge of the bed. He had liked the small illusion of not being in a cage that the unlocked door had provided for him. 

“Sorry,” Bofur sat the bread down on the desk. “Do ya want me to leave ya alone fer the night?”

Bilbo shook his head. “Would you think me weak if I asked for a hug?”

Bofur smiled. “I think yer brave and strong, Bilbo, to be able to endure all of this.” Bofur sat beside the hobbit and gathered him in his arms. “I couldn’t help but hear ya sing. It was beautiful. Would ya mind if I sang to ya now? It always helped calm me brother when he was upset.”

“I’d like that.” Bilbo smiled and held onto Bofur tighter as the dwarf’s low voice filled the room and comforted him.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Normally, when in the Shire, a hobbit giving birth would be in the house of one of the many midwives since they had a specific room for births. The father would be there in the room as well as a handful of close friends and family members that were asked for support. Others waited outside the house.

Bilbo had found himself with Thorin, Oin, and five other dwarrows he had never seen before as he had been sweating and screaming during the birthing process. He had felt terribly uncomfortable being in such an exposed position when with strangers. No one had even offered to hold his hand so he had to fist his hands into the sheets as he had endured the painful process. He wasn’t sure if he would have accepted Thorin’s hand anyways. But he wished Bofur had been allowed into the room so he could have had one friendly face.

“And I thought my hairlessness was shameful.” One of the unknown dwarrows had stated upon entering the room when Oin had just removed Bilbo’s undergarments. Bilbo could have done without the comments about how different he appeared from the other race. Luckily, he had been granted a blanket over his legs to hide his nudity as Oin had worked between his legs.

Oin was still between his spread legs but he was almost finished cleaning Bilbo after a successful birth, luckily with no complications. Bilbo was still trying to catch his breath.

Thorin was handed the wrapped child. “He’s beautiful, brother.” A dwarf, whom Bilbo would later know as Dis, congratulated the king.

“Thankfully he has the dwarven ears and nose.” Another commented.

“What are you going to name him, Uncle?” Asked another of the younger looking pair.

“Frerin the second, son of Thorin, King Under the Mountain.” Thorin decided. “He will grow up to be just as noble as the first bearer of that name.”

“Your brother would have been honored.” A shorter, whiter dwarf remarked. The largest dwarf in the room stood beside the short one and nodded in agreement.

The child began to fuss in Thorin’s arms and he turned his attention to Bilbo. “He is hungry.” Thorin moved to sit next to Bilbo and opened his shirt. Bilbo reached up for the child and held his son for the first time.

Smiling down at him, Bilbo pressed a kiss to the fussing baby’s head. “Welcome to the world, Frerin.” He greeted his child before shifting him slightly and offering him his tit to suckle. Frerin hungrily began to suck as Bilbo made sure the boy found his nipple.

“He is perfect, Bilbo. You did very well.” Thorin praised as he brushed a sweaty curl off of Bilbo’s forehead.

Bilbo leaned into the touch. “He is perfect.” He agreed. The other dwarrows bid the two farewells before taking their leave, Oin lingering for only a moment to inform that he would return on the morrow to recheck Bilbo below in order to ensure everything was healing properly. For a few hours, Thorin and Bilbo sat contently next to one another with the child. While Bilbo held his son, he thought that he would be able to endure after all.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“I hear you,” Bilbo picked up Frerin as he began to wail, kicking his stubby legs and arms in the air before Bilbo tucked him against his body. “Hush now, my perfect boy. No reason to fret, your parent is here.” Bilbo rocked Frerin back and forth as he used one hand to work his shirt open.

He pressed a kiss to his son’s chubby cheeks before revealing a tit for Frerin to begin suckling. It had been three weeks since he had given birth and even though it meant he saw more of Oin, Thorin, and Thorin’s sister Dis, he was very happy being a parent, much to his surprise. He loved cuddling and holding his son. He sang to Frerin, told him stories of the Shire, and loved watching Frerin with Bofur. Bofur had taken to his son instantly, tickling the young baby’s feet and rocking him to sleep when Bilbo found himself being exhausted.

Bilbo rubbed at Frerin’s dark hair on his head as he hummed softly while he nursed. The door opened and Bilbo offered a small nod to Thorin and Dis as they entered. “When he is finished eating, I will take my child.” Thorin ordered.

Bilbo didn’t rush Frerin, allowing the boy to decide when he was full just to make Thorin wait longer. Dis had a satchel with her that Bilbo wondered if they held some more items for Frerin but she had not offered any of them yet. When Frerin finished, Bilbo gently burped him and pressed a kiss to his forehead before handing him to Thorin, knowing it would be a few hours before Thorin returned with his son. 

Thorin left without a word and Bilbo frowned. He hated when Thorin would take Frerin without telling him when he would get him back or where he was going with him. Not that Thorin often did disclose such information with Bilbo. Thorin didn’t feel the need to share much when it came to their son since Thorin didn’t even acknowledge that Frerin was anything more than only his son. 

Dis removed the satchel and began to remove the contents onto the desk. There were multiple empty jars that Bilbo eyed curiously. He grabbed his nursing rag to wipe himself clean but Dis caught his hand. “Don’t bother. It’ll be easier if you’re still running like this.”

“What will be easier?” Bilbo asked.

“Collecting your milk, of course,” Dis stared at him with the same contempt she normally held for him. “It is easier to mix it with other milk this way and slowly get Frerin to wean off.” 

“Wean him off already? Isn’t it too soon?” Bilbo was shocked at such a thought already.

“Dwarrows do not nurse our children so long. It makes them weak and the last thing our beloved halfling Frerin needs is more weakness from you. Now either you will milk yourself or I will,” Dis handed him a jar and watched him expectantly. Bilbo frowned and looked from his familiar, soft hand to the jar he was just handed and frowned as he grabbed his tit and squeezed. He grimaced in pain since he was already sore from Frerin’s constant mouth on him.

But Dis held no sympathy for him as she rolled her eyes as he was unable to get much milk from himself. “I knew I’d have to do this myself.” She grabbed him roughly and squeezed, squirting some milk out of him and ignoring Bilbo’s cry of outrage and pain.

Later that night, Bilbo had been stroking his smaller and pained pecs when Thorin reentered. But he was empty handed. “Where is Frerin?” Bilbo asked with a worried frown. It had been much longer than usual for Frerin to spend so much time away from him.

“Frerin is in his room where he will be spending most of his time from now on.” Thorin stated, making Bilbo’s eyes widen with outrage, upset at once again not being informed about anything concerning his son.

“When will I get to see him again?” Bilbo asked.

“You no longer need to concern yourself about him. It is time we start thinking of the next child.” Thorin informed as he began to slowly strip himself of his weapons.

Bilbo swallowed thickly. “Already?” He croaked softly. Thorin only nodded. “That’s too soon, don’t you think? I am barely over Frerin’s birth.”

“Oin told me this was enough time. Besides, it is doubtful I will be successful in my first few tries as I was not the first time. I wish to begin as soon as possible, as that is the case and I desire more children from you.” Thorin eyes Bilbo expectantly and the hobbit closed his eyes as a soft noise of despair passed through his throat. He began to undress and dreaded everything that was to come.

After Thorin left, Bilbo curled up in the sheets of his bed and wept loudly. He cried out for the unfairness of the treatment of his body, the violations against him, and that he would never see his child again. He became hysterical with his tears and only calmed in the later hours of the night to discover that he was being rocked by Bofur. He clung tightly to the dwarf even as his body produced no more tears. He didn’t let go of Bofur until the dwarf needed to leave in the morning to get his breakfast for him. Even though Bilbo didn’t cry as heavily after that night, Bofur still took to holding Bilbo after Thorin visited. It was the only thing Bilbo had to look forward towards each day.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seriously guys, if you want a happy ending, don't read further. Just stop and pretend something happy happens because this ending is terribly bittersweet. Also, I kinda feel like hobbits wouldn’t be pregnant for nine months, as their children are so tiny and must not need that much time to form. So I made up a hobbit’s pregnancy term of only being around six months.

Bilbo’s hair, once filled with sun-kissed, golden curls mixed with a light mahogany shade, had turned into a darkened brown from the lack of sunlight he had seen. Fortunately, hobbits were adaptable creatures so Bilbo had not allowed for the depressing nature of his life to completely deplete his spirit. It also helped that he had Bofur around to keep him smiling. For as much as he despised Thorin, and how else could he feel for such a being that never viewed him as more than an incubator for children, he greatly enjoyed Bofur’s companionship and couldn’t believe that all dwarrows were terrible. Despite never meeting them, Bilbo suspected from Bofur’s stories that his kin were also friendly dwarrows. Maybe it was only the royal line that held such dismissive attitudes. 

Bilbo had learned that birthing did not get easier despite how many years passed. He had successfully birthed three boys and a girl but he had also lost two other children during the years. Those were the only children he had been permitted to name since Thorin hadn’t bothered and so he had given them names from the Shire. He had often found himself imagining a life with those two children of his, a happy life with them somewhere far away from Erebor.

He had never been granted more than a month with any of his living children before they were taken from him and never seen again. Luckily, Bofur kept one ear open to all the gossip in Erebor and learned of many tales to tell Bilbo of his growing children to keep him informed.

It was such a story that had him smiling now as they headed back towards Bilbo’s room. He couldn’t believe that his first son was already old enough to begin hand-to-hand training in dwarven culture. He thought a ten year old was too young for any type of fighting. 

“He’s supposedly very skilled and light on his feet.” Bofur informed. “Dwalin is teachin’ him since he taught Fili and Kili. He practically teaches all the young nobles. But already Frerin seems to be a natural. Dwalin was chargin’ at him yesterday and the lad went right between his legs and kicked him in the bum before Dwalin had time to turn around.”

Bilbo chuckled. “That sounds like how a hobbit would fight. I’m glad he got my cleverness.”

“May it help him in his years and brin’ great success to his name.” Bofur agreed with a laugh as he opened Bilbo’s door for him and moved aside to let Bilbo in. “Bilbo?” Bofur asked as he watched Bilbo remain frozen in the hallway.

"Frerin?” Bilbo called out before sprinting down the hallway.

“Bilbo!” Bofur shouted and chased after him. He rounded the corner in time to hear a shout. Bilbo had his arms wrapped around the young prince who had apparently been reading as there was a book discarded on the ground. “Bilbo,” Bofur hissed as he nervously looked around.

“How dare you? Unhand me,” Frerin demanded as he pushed Bilbo away.

“You’ve become such a handsome young lad since I last saw you. Then again, last I saw you, you were but a baby in my arms.” Bilbo was blinking back tears as he smiled at the mixed prince. He had imagined that he would never be allowed to see his children ever again and yet luck had smiled upon him to see how his first son had grown up.

Frerin bent down and picked up his book. “Who are you?” Looking Bilbo up and down, he scrunched up his face. “And what are you, more importantly?”

“I’m your birthing parent, Bilbo Baggins of the Shire.” Bilbo introduced with a crooked smile. “And I’m a hobbit, but you should know that, of course.”

"A hobbit?” Frerin shrugged his shoulders as he continued to stare at Bilbo with a displeased expression that Bilbo thought reminded him too much of Thorin. “I’ve never heard of such a creature.”

“What?” Bilbo’s eyes widened. “How can you not know what a hobbit is? You’re half hobbit, Frerin.”

“Father always told me I was only half dwarf and that was why I couldn’t be heir, but he never told me what my other half was. He said it wasn’t important.” Frerin looked down at Bilbo’s feet. “I suppose that’s why my feet are hairier than my chest,” he murmured to himself.

“Frerin, do you not care at all that you have been denied the chance to know yourself?” Bilbo frowned and took a step closer. “Or even a chance to know me, your other parent?”

"Father said it wasn’t important,” Frerin repeated.

“It is important!” Bilbo shouted as he grabbed Frerin’s shoulders. “I birthed you, Frerin. You should know the way of hobbits just as much as you do dwarven cultures.”

“Unhand me,” Frerin shook Bilbo’s hands off. “No one but the royal line of Durin is permitted to touch me. Guard,” Frerin addressed Bofur. “Do not allow him to put hands on me again.”

“Yes, yer majesty.” Bofur nodded and grabbed Bilbo’s arm. “I’m sorry, Bilbo, but ya gotta go back to yer room.”

“But he’s my son. He doesn’t even know me and he’s my son, Bofur!” Bilbo shouted as he tried to fight against Bofur’s hold without success. “Frerin, my son, please!” Bilbo pleaded as he was dragged away but the half prince merely turned from him and continued on his way, as though the meeting left him completely unaffected.

When Thorin arrived that night, they were both in a bad mood. “Frerin informed me of your unplanned visit.”

“Were you ever going to allow my child the chance to know me? I thought if I would not be permitted to teach them then they would at least be learning about hobbits and the Shire through their studies.” Bilbo had stopped totally fearing Thorin years ago when he learned that there was nothing Thorin could possibly do to him to make his life more miserable than it was. His body was far too important for Thorin to risk injury on him and so all of his threats had been empty without any follow through. Although he still held some fear of the dwarf king, it was mostly hatred that fueled Bilbo’s feelings toward Thorin.

“They have no need of such useless information. The less they knew about the other half of them, the easier it was to be for them to fully accept their dwarven half.” Thorin explained. “You have served your purpose in their lives by bringing them to this world.”

“They are my children, Thorin, how dare you say such things!” Bilbo yelled as he stomped his foot angrily. “My children should know--”

“They are not your children!” Thorin bellowed loudly, shutting Bilbo up and renewing his fear of the king. “Have you not figured out your place as a slave, hobbit? You own nothing! You have no right to claim my children in any form; you do not even have rights to your body. Have you learned nothing of your years here? I own you and may do with you as I please. You are a means of only to provide my kingdom with more royalty, to secure the Durin line even more.

“In years to come, my children will bring about a new line with other dwarrows. Their children will have more children and they will have forgotten that there is anything but strong, dwarven blood that runs through their veins, as it should be. You will fade in years and no memory of a hobbit living in this mountain will remain.” Thorin’s eyes narrowed dangerously as he looked Bilbo up and down. “Your time of serving me is almost complete already. When I have one more child from you, then my nephew will begin to plant his seed in you and continue to provide more children for our city.”

"How many children am I expected to give birth to? You promised I only had to birth you five.” Bilbo accused as he felt the indignation with Thorin’s words fill his heart.

“You will continue to be used until your last days.” Thorin began to remove his weapons. “I told you, you are mine to do with as I please. I owe you no promises.”

Bilbo felt hopelessness like he hadn’t felt since his first year of his captivity. “I refuse,” he whispered as he shook his head. “I will not birth you a child again. I am done. I cannot live like this anymore, not when my life truly holds no meaning.” Bilbo felt tears start to come to his eyes.

“That is not for you to decide. Your only decision is if I will strip you or if you will do it yourself.” Thorin remarked as he continued to remove his layers in the familiar routine. 

“I thought my children would at least know of me, that they would want to meet me and know me.” Bilbo shook his head as he wiped at his eyes, determined not to let the tears fall in front of Thorin. “But they don’t even know of hobbit blood running through them. My life is truly without meaning. My friends back in the Shire must think me dead and there is no one in this mountain aside from Bofur who even cares for me in the slightest.”

Thorin heaved a sigh as he placed his sword down. “I will strip you then if you can’t be bothered.”

“No,” Bilbo shouted as Thorin grabbed at him. He tugged his arms away and glared with all the hatred he felt in his small body at Thorin. “I will not be used by you anymore. I am taking back the right of my body. I am no longer yours to use!” Bilbo declared boldly.

He stared at Thorin with hard, determined eyes only to fall to the ground with a cry as Thorin struck at his face. “You dare to speak to me in such a way!” Thorin yelled, grabbing at Bilbo and tossing his struggling body onto the bed. “I have graced you over these years with much more kindness than such a weak creature deserves. I will teach you your place since you are too stupid to recognize it for yourself.”

Thorin manhandled Bilbo’s wiggling body further onto the bed and straddled his hips as he tore at Bilbo’s simple clothes. “No, stop!” Bilbo shrieked as Thorin removed his own pants. “Please, no more!” Bilbo pushed at Thorin’s chest but the dwarf felt nothing as he aligned himself with Bilbo and thrust roughly into the smaller body. Bilbo shouted curses as Thorin and tried to tug at his hair but his arms were captured and pinned to the bed. Thorin treated him much rougher than usual, using brutal, deep thrusts that had Bilbo crying out with pain. 

Bilbo finally gave up fighting to make it easier to endure the pain. He closed his eyes and tried to ignore the tears that were running down his cheeks. In the past years, he had survived by escaping into his imaginary world of a different, happy lifestyle in the Shire as his body was violated. But this time he could not focus on anything except for the pain of his miserable life. He could not dream of any fake world or kid himself with some happy hope for the future. He had nothing to look forward to for the rest of his life.

When Thorin finished with him that time, Bilbo curled onto his side and hugged his knees to his chest. Thorin dressed and stood next to the bed to stare at Bilbo. Bilbo glared despite knowing that his eyes were red from his tears. 

“I had thought the spirit in you had died years ago. I must make you learn your place before handing you over to my nephew. Not until you understand that you eat only because I allow you to, that you are permitted to walk around because I allow you to, that you breathe because I allow you to, only once you understand that can I trust that you know your place.” Thorin returned the glare before he left Bilbo alone.  
Bilbo sat up slowly as he thought over Thorin’s words and he felt no chill when he came to a decision. There was only one way he could truly regain control over his life again and that was if he took his life back into his own hands by ending it. It was his only means of escape. 

He spent the night thinking the decision over and finally came to the conclusion that he was only still living because of Bofur. He had become so close to the dwarf. Bofur made him smile and made him feel good whereas everything else in his life only left him feeling hurt and wretched. But he knew nothing could ever come from his friendship with Bofur. He could not even let it develop into something more since he couldn’t imagine sex ever being enjoyable after all the violations he had been through. 

Bilbo considered himself lucky that the next morning on the timing of things, it was almost as though this was an act of fate finally granting him an ounce of mercy. Bofur was being granted a short break like he usually was given after a handful of months. He was to be replaced with the other guard, Gloin, that sometimes watched over him. That afternoon Bofur would leave Bilbo in Gloin’s care for the next few days, which meant that Bilbo and Bofur would go walking early that morning and it would be their last.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Bofur could tell that Bilbo was greatly upset as he had not been his usual self. Bilbo usually participated in the conversation and smiled at Bofur’s stories but now it was as though he was not even hearing Bofur as he spoke. He offered only one word answers to the questions Bofur asked about what he was currently reading. Bofur had heard all of the yelling the night before so he understood why Bilbo was particularly depressed. Bilbo had even turned him away that night instead of taking comfort in Bofur’s arms as he preferred to after Thorin visited. 

Throughout the years, Bofur would never admit it due to job complications, but he believed that he had started to fall in love with the hobbit. Despite the hardships Bilbo had faced, the hobbit had stayed strong and rather willful. He was witty and caring. Bilbo kept up with whatever Bofur told him about his kin and was actually interested in what Bofur had to say. Bilbo’s smiles were rarer than the first few years but they were beautiful and Bofur always treasured any laughter he could get out of the smaller being. He was rather smitten with Bilbo and when things were really rough for the hobbit, when he spent the night in Bofur’s arms, Bofur liked to think of ways to smuggle the hobbit out of the mountain and start a life somewhere far away with him. 

Bofur tried everything he could think of to get a smile out of Bilbo that morning before he left. Not even the sight out of the balconies could get a reaction out of Bilbo. The hobbit only stared out past the rolling hills with sad eyes.

Sighing, Bofur patted Bilbo’s shoulder. “Let’s head back, eh?” Maybe he could refuse his break until next week, when Bilbo felt better. He couldn’t leave his dear friend in such a state for the next few days with Gloin. The other dwarf thought nothing of Bilbo and Bilbo needed a friend to lift his spirits.

“We never got that picnic.” Bilbo murmured.

Bofur followed Bilbo’s line of view to the hills and offered a small smile. “Someday, Bilbo, I will take ya to a picnic on that hill. No matter what Thorin has to say on that matter, I promise ya.”

Bilbo placed his hand over top of Bofur’s hand on his shoulder and squeezed it. “You were the best friend I could have ever hoped to have here, Bofur. You were the best thing I never would have expected to experience while being here and you have kept me sane and smiling all these years.” Bilbo turned to look Bofur in the eyes and brought Bofur’s hand off of his shoulder to press a soft kiss to his knuckles. “Thank you, Bofur.”

Bofur swallowed and smiled. He was in love with the slave of the royal line of Durin. He really did need the next few days off. Maybe he could talk with his brother and try to figure out what to do in his situation. There had to be something he could do in order to end up happy with Bilbo.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“I know you have such short legs, but can you really not walk any faster?” Gloin grumbled. “I swear you weren’t this slow last time I walked with you and you were with child then!”

Bilbo was taking his sweet time on this walk, passing by all the hallways he had come to know so well from the walks. The short walks were all he knew of a chance to be out of the cage that was his room. He had thought they were his only means of a short escape. But he had finally figured out a real escape. He was glad Bofur wouldn’t be held responsible for it either. He didn’t want to get his friend in trouble.

Gloin was irritated with Bilbo’s leisurely pace and took to walking a few steps ahead of him and to turn over his shoulder and bark at Bilbo to speed up, which the hobbit never did. Bilbo was going to enjoy his last moments. The space apart from his guard left Bilbo with enough time to climb up onto the ledge of the balcony and stare out into the view that had captured his attention so many years ago. He had wanted to go out with some essence of nature and feeling of freedom and to jump would give him exactly that. 

“Come on, hobbit, you can be faster if,” Gloin started before looking over his shoulder at Bilbo and muttered a curse. “Hobbit, Bilbo,” Gloin called softly to him, taking a slow step towards Bilbo with his hands out as though he was approaching a spooked animal. “Come on now, get down. You don’t want to do anything stupid now. Thorin would have my beard if anything happened to you.”

Bilbo thought if he stared hard enough and his vision blurred a little, he could almost picture small, round doors built into those green hills just past the busy city. If only the Shire was that close. He would be able to finally return home. Up on the ledge, Bilbo could feel a bit of a breeze ruffle through his hair. He could pretend to smell flowers and home baked goods. He could imagine the laughter of children as they played happy games. All he needed to do was take one step forward and he wouldn’t have to be so miserable anymore.

“Bilbo,” the gasp of his name is what finally made Bilbo look away from the hills. Bofur was supposed to be on his break but he knew that his friend would never leave him if he was concerned over his wellbeing. Bofur was such a great friend and Bilbo would regret hurting him in this way. Bilbo smiled at Bofur to try and reassure him that things were okay but the concern in Bofur’s eyes didn’t leave. Closing his eyes, Bilbo decided that Bofur wasn’t a bad last view and he stepped off the ledge.

He heard Bofur’s desperate scream of his name before the wind encompassed him, blocking out any other sounds or feelings. Then he didn’t feel anything anymore. 

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

He took off his boots and spread his toes as he walked around in the grass. A strong gust of wind almost threatened to take his hat, but he waited for it to calm down before he sat down. He opened the small basket of food and forced himself to eat some of the food Bombur made. It would have tasted better if he had been able to share it. 

“I think ya had somethin’ about this barefoot thing,” Bofur murmured as he plucked a strand of grass with his toes. He smiled and looked up at the white, fluffy clouds. “I hope they have grass where yer at. I hope yer chasin’ yer little ones around, those two children Thorin never laid any claim to. Those were always yer babes, Bilbo, and I hope yer happy with ‘em.”

He looked at the small urn next to the basket. Dwarven customs return their bodies to the earth and stone of where dwarrows were made. But hobbits weren’t made of stone. They were soft and meant to be carefree, like the wind. The request had been met only because Thorin hadn’t known what to do in such a situation, especially when the body couldn’t be repaired. They had gathered all they could to create the ashes.

Bofur allowed the tears to fall as he picked up the urn and took off the lid. “He doesn’t own ya anymore. Be free, Bilbo Baggins. Fly back to yer Shire.” He stood up and shook out the ashes on the hills past Dale. The wind picked up and Bofur hoped that it blew hard enough to take Bilbo somewhere far away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you got it this far then I hope you enjoyed it! My next hobbit fic won't be this sad, I swear. I already have it in the works and it's actually Ori centered. Anyways, I'll try and write happy fics for Bilbo, Thorin, and Bofur in the future. Thanks so much already for such great feedback though! Each bookmark, kudos, and comment really makes me smile and encourages me to write more!


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